Happy Birthday to Jo! That is right our little Josalyn Holly turned two. Yes! She is still your "destroying angel" as you call her. Actually she is worse. I rememember how she tormented you last summer. You would put all the bowls in your island away....and you being on krutches and bending over to pick up a half dozen bowls while on them wasn't easy.... then only to have her come in not a minute later and throw them all on the ground. She is even more skilled at the her job of destroying. You should see what she can do with a marker. Oh and remember how you don't allow Play Dough in your house..well we bought her some for her birthday...now I know why you don't. Oh! well. Live and learn huh?!
It was a wonderful day. We went swimming, and ate lots of fun food, and of course cake. The day before as I was making her cake I was adding the piping around the edges and it took me back to almost two years ago when you came to visit. You and Dad were here for her blessing. We had stayed up late putting the finishing touches on her blessing dress and head band. Now we were sitting in the kitchen decorating her blessing cake together. I was fine with just some simple chocolate frosting but no you whipped me up some of your special cream cheese frosting that is to die for (and that Jayanne could eat a container of). Then you made some white frosting so we could decorate it. I of course looked like a clumsy, fool doing it while you finished it off for me with the greatest of ease. I remember all the fun time spent there make this marvelouse cake for dinner. Then as we sat in the living room we notice how quiet it was with Carter not running around. Where did we find him? Well of course we found him on the kitchen stool, bent of the counter, quietly eating our cake. The best part is we all laughed and ate it anyway. Even though his little fingers had picked through it.
I am sure it will pass but right now I measure time with "two years ago if I had known....". That is what I kept thinking over and over again. I kept replaying in my head the conversation I had the day she was born. You were at Grandma's house. I was calling with not only the good knews that we had had a baby girl who was healthy and strong but the unexpected knews that I ended up delivering her myself on our linving room floor, alone. I remember talking to you about it and giving you the details but what I remember is how quiet you were not like your usually excited self when you have a new niece born. You then told me about how you were going in for surgery in a couple of hours. A very painful surgery that you would have to be awake for because they thought you were allergic to the anesthsia. I felt so horrible to be going through such a wonderful life changing experience when I felt like you were on the complete other end of the spectrum. To be honest I thougth you hated me for that reason too. I said good bye and hung up not really understanding at the time how difficult the next few hours were going to be for you.
I called you the next day. You sounded aweful. You spent a great majority of the time throwing up. You started telling me about your surgery. I was still operating under the gulit of having something so wonderful happen when you were in so much pain. You started to tell me how you laid on your side while a nurse held you down. While she held you down the doctor was shocking the nerves in your spinal cord to see if those were the ones he should clip. Before the proceedure you told them about me delivering my baby that morning by myself. You started to tell me how bad it hurt and how you could feel shocks in your whole abdomen. You said, "I looked the nurse in the eyes and said, "If my sister can deliver a baby by herself I can do this!"" I thought that was so hilarious because it is not even the same thing and I told you that. I would have gladly deliver a baby on my living room floor everyday for the rest of my life than go spinal surger while being awake. That is why we have our own unique trials...right?!
Summer is killing me. I am coming up on the one year mark for the last time I saw you..alive. Summer I kind of think is our time. It is when I would visit you in St. George, it is when I visit now. Now I am just home. With my cute family mind you but it is just different. I need a swimming party at the Thomas', some shopping at the outlettes, sneaking into movie theaters with our purses full of food and most importantly jamming to some girl music belting it at the top of our lungs while we drive. That is summer with you and I just can't do it alone...okay I still sneak food into the movie theater!
I miss you so much! I love you!
Love, Lar
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| The cake |
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| The destruction |
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| You and her on her blessing day |
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| The last pic I have of you two. You have her her first marshmallow. She loved you after that. |
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| Here is our two year old! |
