Tomorrow my sister's baby girl, Abbi, is becoming a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. In my church this is land mark time in every young person's life. It is the time when they have come to the "age of accountability". An age where their Father in Heaven believes they are ready to take responsibility for the choices they have made.
This is a crossroad in Abbi's life. A day she will remember. It is a day many women labor towards. To prepare their children to understand the responsibilty they are taking on and the covenants they are making.
Tonight as I was trying to sleep I was laying in bed quietly asking inside, "Melynda where are you? We need you right now. She needs you right now." This is a rite of passage you deserve to be at.
I imagained what would happen if she were there, physically. She would have that trademark smile on her face and Abbi's would match it. She would dress her up from head to toe so Abbi know this was a special day. It is in those moment that she would realize she had reached a "Life is Good" moment even though it seemed like time flew in fast forward to get it there. A moment where she would know at least to that point in time she had taught her all she could. Her heart would be thankful for the the chance she had to raise her and for a loving Father to intrust her with this beautiful girl. She would look forward to what is next in life for Abbi, YW, boyfriends, school, marriage; and what she can to do prepare her. This would be a moment in life when "Life is Good"!
I remember one of the last few words I ever saw my sister write was "Life is Good" even though in reality it was tough she was still blessed with those.
So, I laid in bed contemplating, thinking how wrong it all is, mostly wondering how a heart gets through a day like to tomorrow is going to be, so wonderful and, yet, with a feeling of absence. Then while I lay there a little blonde two year old rolled over toward me. I could feel her breath on my face, in the dim light I could see her hair gently flung over her cheeks and I reveled in the sweetness of that moment. Life is good.
Suddenly like pictures being take many memories came to my mind. My sister holding her Macie when she was a week old and how she glowed with pride and love. Seeing my sister when she was a newlywed and how in love she was. Watching my sister try to coax her three year old into time out and my Maya defying her in every way she could. Then I remembered many of those same things in my own life. Teaching Kate to read and feeling that sense of accomplishment. Holding Carter all night long to make sure he kept on breathing when he was sick. Giving birth Josalyn at home alone. I felt such a surge of gratitude for my "Life is Good" moments. They have now become my "what really matters" moments.
I have felt weighed down by the heaviness of life. By the difficulty of the world around us especially from what I feel I can't control. As I laid their mourning the loss for my sister of this exceptional loss of "moments" she will have and of what she was going to miss tomorrow I found comfort in these memories. I had such a feeling of love that our Father in Heaven has for us and realised that he has given us so many before and I don't believe he is going to stop now simply because their is a thin veil dividing us. I know I won't see her but I know she will be there. I know that she will be there to witness her life's work, that was and is her child, take her next step in this life. I know she will smile. I can see it in my mind's eye. I know that she will rejoice and understand better than any of us how wonderful this day really is. She will still have her "moment" with her daughter. I hope and pray the we can all feel the love that is coming from her and most assuradly is coming from our Father in Heaven.
