Independence Is A Good Thing....Right?

She just walked away and never looked back. Sometimes now she even forgets to tell me bye. The first day we walk into school and I'm the one who starts crying....just a little. I was not prepared for this. I thought the day Kate went to school I would feel some relief at having the opportunity to get more things that are "necessary" done. Not so. I miss her so much. I feel like those four hours a day she disappears into some black hole and I have no idea what she is doing. She comes home and I try to give her the old Q & A but lets face it four-year-olds have way too much imagination to give you a simple, straight answer at what they did at school today. Now I have taken to pulling every paper out of her back pack and having her tell me one-by-one what they are and what she was doing when she made them. Am I OCD? DO I have a problem letting go or is this normal mom craziness? My friend tried to warn me about this but I didn't understand....until now. On the up side though...

She is happy! I can tell because she comes home super wired and excited about everything and then crashes-tears and all-around 4:00. I know she likes it and so I have to remind myself when I daydream about taking her out of school and selfishly making her stay home with me that this is good for her. She is growing and learning and doing all the wonderful things that she really needs to be doing right now. Then she comes home and her and I usually hatch up some sort of project to do together. This week we baked cake bites. Cooking is her favorite thing to do only third to looking through cookbooks for things to make (which completely reminds me of my sister Melynda) and, of course, watching Dora the Explorer.

(I have yet to get a picture of them both looking at me)

I might add that I am not the only one struggling with this possessiveness over Kate. Every time we take Kate into school Carter stands by the door that she walks into...and never looks back might I add...and sticks out his bottom lip and whispers "Kate" as he reaches out to her. Sometimes I am tempted to use this excuse to make her come and get back in the car with me but I remind myself and Carter that we will be coming to pick her up in four short...long...hours.

(Yup! I really do drop her off looking like this. This is Carter's handy work by-the-way he was pretty proud.)

The only upside to all of this school business is I get a lot more face time and play time with this>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

So at least there is a positive side to all this. Especially considering that this boy is in need of some boy play time. Chris and I realized this when the other day he came in wanting to play dress ups and brought us Kate's Cinderella dress which we kindly put on him because we don't care but we thought maybe it is time to invest in some different dress-ups for his sake. Lets face it someday he is going to care that he dressed up in his big sisters dress-ups and wore her princess high heels around the house.

This sweet thing gets more love and time with me than anyone so she isn't suffering. Lucky me! She is a good sport...usually....when I have to yank her out of bed at 7:30 am especially since she would like to be sleeping till 9:00.

It always heals my heart everyday that after she walks into class without of flinch or a sign of missing me that when I come to pick her up she always runs out the door with a great big smile and gives me a great big hug. In my mind it is her way of telling me that she wishes she could have been with me all along. :)