Day 16

Dear Melynda,

I can think back to so many happy times in your life. You are a generally very happy person. You love to be happy and I often remember hearing you say, "life is good". This always brought me relief in your latter years to hear this because superfically life wasn't good. It was really, really hard for you, but I knew during those moments of "life is good" that you could see the sunshine through all the gray. There was gray but there was so much good. I think the most good you have done is with your girls.
Memory takes me back to the happiest time I think I have ever seen you. You and David had come up to Northern Utah to visit. You were about to pop with another baby girl, or at least in my memory you looked like it. I have this vivid memory of you walking from the kitchen to the couch and you were almost bouncing and filled with a vibrant glow. You had your huge smile across your face and all was right with the world. You had wanted another baby so badly and it had taken you longer than you thought. If there is one thing I know you did right it is being a mom. You are a wonderful mom. You cherish that position above all else, except for being a wife. As Dave put it, you considered it a "fine art". I think that is a great way to put it because fine art takes one part talent and two parts work. You worked hard.
I remember one particular Sunday when Maya was three. She had been really naughty at church, so you came home and sat her on a chair. When it was time you told her she could get off. Well, she got off that chair walked straight over to the fridge, opened it, pulled out a jug a milk and dropped it on the floor spilling it everywhere. She then looked at you with her most defiant look and went and sat back on time out with out a word said. You did so well. I know you lost your cool sometimes but I also saw you show great love and compassion when it was difficult to summon.
Last night with a group of ladies we were discussing how we can show better patience with our own children. I couldn't say it out loud, but I think that is one of the most important things I have learned from you. When I get mad, and I definitely do, I go to a memory of you talking calmly, probably to Maya, and I try to mimic that voice and calmness.
I'm grateful that I was able to see you raise your girls. They were almost exactly the same age as my own kids. I feel it is a special blessing that I was able to spend so much time living under your own roof. I miss you. I love you!

Love, Lar