Day 21

Dear Melynda,

I think one of the best virtues I learned from you is self confidence. I was almost on the ground rolling the other day thinking about your old truck. Grandma tells the story about when you moved down there, to St. George, they gave you Grandpa's old truck. The one that you could hear from two or three blocks over coming down the street and was about fifteen years past its expiration date. You only lived about five blocks from the Dixie High School, so you would hope in your truck drive two blocks hop out and walk the rest of the way. Then, grandma says, each day you would park a little closer until finally you parked right in the parking lot with everybody else.
Then came my test. You came to live back in North Ogden for awhile after you graduated to help out. I was in junior high at the time and those image things are kind of a big deal. You dropped me off that morning without much attention. It is easy to get lost in all the traffic of the morning. Then you came to pick me up that afternoon. I remember standing there with my friends I could here you a block and a half away coming up by the cemetery. I remember you pulling into the drive and I just bent over laugh. I was not embarrassed at all. I remember looking into the window and seeing your big smile and a laugh on your lips. You and your truck made a big "I'm HERE!" statement. I just remember being so glad you were there, so glad you lived with us, so glad about all of it. I didn't care what anyone else thought. I was proud of you as my sister even if everyone else thought we were crazy.
This same principle came back later in life. I remember after your stroke I felt so betrayed. I felt like your body had just given up on you. It felt so unfair to see you all the sudden in a broken body. Now you had to endure a severe stutter, a wheel chair, and right side paralysis. I think the hardest thing was loosing that big smile. That was one of the hardest for me to watch. So many times when we were together having fun I would wait to see one of your big grins only to see half your face respond. It was always a reminder of what had been lost. You handled it with such grace. You pushed through it slowly just like you did with the truck. Ever so slowly inching closer and closer until you realized those who loved you would love you no matter what and the rest could fall by the wayside.
In a way I think you earned more respect and love because of your ability to handle your struggles so well. Just like me, you taught so many people that it really doesn't matter what others say. One of your greatest achievements was your ability to make friends and your greatest skill was kindness. Your laugh and happy smile would push away all those who looked upon you with doubt or uninterested. They would see you, hear you, and watch who you were and they would want to know you. This is something I hope is secretly tucked away in your girls minds. They have had a front row seat to all your greatest moments for the past decade. Plus I don't think it is something I can teach them. They are so lucky to have you as a mom. I am lucky to have you as my sister. All these memories bring me joy to look back on to help me continue to be who I want to be. Your example and your memory still lives with us. I miss you. I love you!

Love, Lar